Week 39 + 40

We’re back!

We made it to Kansas and back and things could not have gone better. God was truly in each and every detail of our trip and we can’t wait to share a little bit about it with you!

Early last Friday my sister picked us up and brought us to the airport. I literally slept 3 hours the night before. SO many thoughts swirling through my head AND nerves about flying (if you know me, it’s not my favorite…even though I’ve done it dozens of times)!

We arrived in Wichita at about 1pm. It instantly reminded me of Iowa…flat and sunny! 🙂

We made our way to the Airbnb that our agency in Kansas connected us with. The owners of the home love supporting adoptive families with a discount and flexible dates. They were SO great to work with and have created such a cozy ‘home away from home’. It was such a blessing to have a place that was ‘ours’ for the weekend- to unwind, process, and rest. The home was built in the 1880’s and the craftmanship was stunning! My wanna-be designer loved every bit of it. We can’t wait to go back to ‘our’ home in March! 🙂

Shortly after arriving we texted Mama A to see if she wanted to meet up. At this point, my nerves were full blown and it felt like the first time I met Greg- knots in my stomach and wondering what kind of crazy I had gotten myself into. We drove over to her place and knocked on the door. She opened it and every worry, fear, and ounce of nervousness melted away as we hugged and felt instantly connected. She had a gift waiting for us- things she specifically picked out for Greg, baby, and I. Her thoughtfulness had me on the verge of tears. Here we were, hoping to love on her all weekend, and she starts by loving on us.

We headed to a Waffle House and hung out for 4 hours- talking, laughing, and crying. We got to know her so much better, we bonded over shared humor, and we discussed baby and adoption. At one point, I was overcome with the thought that baby was hearing our voice for the first time. He was RIGHT there, across the table from us. I can’t put into words the emotions that filled my heart. Everything felt SO right.

I only cried once that night (a small victory in itself) as Mama A shared that her biggest fear is us backing out. How do you reassure somebody that you would never, ever consider such a thing- that you already love this baby (and her!) more than you thought possible?! This whole journey has wrecked us and rebuilt every idea of what we thought love was.

We got back to the house that night and crashed. We were physically and emotionally exhausted but our hearts were so full. What. A. Day.

The next morning we got up and did some shopping with Mama A. It was so easy and natural doing such ‘ordinary’ things together. We spent time picking up some last minute things for her son’s birthday party, had lunch together, and drove around Wichita as she shared more of her life with us. By about 3pm we dropped her off and headed to Target to pick up some frozen pizza and snacks for the night. We were so excited for a night to just chill. At Target, we just had to pick up this jersey for baby- a piece of who he is and where he started.

Having the night to relax was so necessary. As an introvert, I had done so much extrovert-ing over the past two days that I needed time to process and reflect. We went to bed early, slept-in, and had a lazy morning.

We headed back over to Mama A’s around 2pm Sunday to help set up for her son’s birthday party. We were honored that she wanted to include us in the celebration and we had SO much fun meeting more of her family and friends.

During the party, I found myself sitting on the couch and just soaking it all up. Here were these people- who days ago were strangers- that now felt like family. There was baby- surrounded by people who love him. There was her son- the happiest little peanut I’ve ever met. There was Mama A- an incredible woman who is such a thoughtful, loving, and intentional mom. And there was us. A couple she chose based on some pictures and paragraphs. She chose us to be a part of this. Us. How blessed are we? The magnitude of the moment wasn’t lost on me.

God is writing an unbelievable story- had I tried to steal the pen- which I tried to do plenty of times- I would’ve only messed it up.

At the end of the party we hugged and said our goodbye’s while I tried to keep the tears at bay.

The next morning we left a piece of our heart in Kansas and flew home.

When Greg and I started the adoption process, we thought we wanted a closed adoption. We are beyond thankful for those we talked to, things we read, and information we sought out that helped change our mind. Open adoption is SUCH a beautiful, beautiful thing. It’s hard at times- don’t get me wrong, but it is so completely worth it. We are excited to see how this relationship will continue to blossom and grow over the coming years.

As I shared in my last post, we are about $12,000 away from what we need (so that we could just take out a $15,000 loan) or $7,000 away if we take out the full $20,000 loan (which would make our monthly budget tight).

The day before we left, Greg had his yearly review and got an amazing raise. Get this- his raise will give us the exact amount extra per month that we need to cover the $20,000 loan. The exact amount. How CRAZY is that?! God, only God, and when we least expected it. This means we can easily afford the $20,000 loan AND continue to live with our current ‘comfortable’ budget. Praise HIM from whom all blessings flow!

This also means we are only SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS away from our goal.

$7,000!

We can do this!!!

We’re not sure how yet (haha), but that number seems so attainable compared to what we’ve already raised. We are brainstorming one last fundraiser (we’d be happy to hear suggestions) and we’re thankful we still have 3 months to chip away at it.

Take aways from the past two weeks:

1. God is good, all the time.

2. All the time, God is good.

Thank you for your prayers, your constant encouragement, and love. We are honored to have you be a part of this journey. As we head into the Christmas season- a verse that keeps coming to mind is this:

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

We are holding tight to all these emotions, memories, and the anticipation of the months ahead.

Merry Christmas!