It’s been a slooooow week on the adoption front. I find that’s the way it typically goes- everything either ALL happens at once, or nothing happens.

We DID however, get the rough draft our home study!! YAY! I had just crawled into bed late Tuesday night and decided to check my email one last time. To my surprise we had an email from our social worker! I was hoping it was the final thing, BUT it’s progress nonetheless! I ended up getting back out of bed, made a few edits (I guess it’s a good thing there’s a rough draft phases) and sent it back to her around midnight. I was hopeful we’d have the final by the end of the week, but as of noon today (Friday), nothing.

I’m trying really, really hard not to be the psycho adoption lady that calls or emails every other hour. Greg is very proud of my self-control. I keep telling myself: God’s timing, not mine. Just because I’m in a hurry doesn’t mean everyone else is.

We also got an email from our adoption consultant ‘document dude’ that he received the 5 hard copies of our profile book from the graphic designer. Woot! So, though the happenings were small this week, they happened. I consider that an answer to prayer! Thank you for praying! Keep praying that we see the official home study SOON (and pray that I can refrain from being psycho adoption lady. :))

At this point we wait. We’re at a standstill until we have the home study in our hands. Once we do, things will get crazy get again. Believe me, we’ll be sure to share when that happens! I’ve also been doing ‘okay’ with leaving my box of fears alone. It’s still a struggle, but this week was better than last week. I truly appreciate the prayers and covet them going forward!

Since it was a pretty slow week without much updates, I thought I’d share the nursery with you all! I’m technically past due sharing it (I promised if we reached our $20,000 goal I would), so here it is. Better late than never!

I struggled at first with the nursery concept. After three miscarriages and a year and a half of dreaming about a nursery, I was itching to get going. Our social worker and a few other adoptive parents recommended that we NOT start a nursery. I get the theory behind it- it can make it harder when you see the constant reminder of what you don’t have. (And you barely use the nursery those first few months anyway.) However, I also talked to a few friends who’ve struggled with infertility and they said starting the nursery gave them so much hope. I was a bit torn.

Ultimately, I started watching FB marketplace because a) I’m thrifty and b) adoption costs a ton, and so when I found a crib I loved, I jumped on it….and then I found an end table to paint….and then a dresser…and a rocking chair….and well, before I knew it, a nursery just kinda formed!

So far, it’s been a place of hope and peace for me. I love walking past it knowing the promise it holds. I often sit in the rocking chair and pray for our future child. And the decorator in me has absolutely LOVED piecing it together bit by bit without rush. If you’re in a similar position wondering whether or not to go ahead with the nursery- I say do it. Obviously everyone is different. You know yourself best. Maybe it will become harder if we end up waiting months for our little one, but for now, it’s what I needed. And I’m so happy I went ahead with it!

The very, very first thing we purchased, was this sign. I saw it shortly after we had made the decision to adopt and before we had told anyone. Greg and I both fell in love with it and had to have it. It’s perfect.

My style has always been a bit ‘neutral farmhouse’ (if I must give it a name) and so I had in mind a certain kind of crib I wanted. I started looking and had some sticker shock- of course I like the most expensive ones. I found one at Target I loved, but it was still $200. I happened to be browsing Facebook marketplace a few days later and saw the exact same crib, but in a cherry wood color for $40. I couldn’t pass it up- quarantine was just starting (and you could still buy paint) so I went ahead and painted it chalk white. It turned out beautiful!! I couldn’t be happier. Cute and thrifty!

My little stint on FB marketplace soon had me buying an end table ($5) that I painted in a chalk gray, a rocking chair ($20) that I bought new fabric for ($25) and my mom will upholster, and a dresser ($30) that I also painted chalk gray. In all, we’ve pretty much completed the nursery for under $200. Can’t beat that! Now, for the final product:

In the meantime we have also started a baby registry but I also find myself struggling with a lot of guilt surrounding that. There are a few things we need- this is our first child. The selfish part of me wants the experience of a baby shower, new things for a first child, etc…if I was pregnant, people wouldn’t bat an eye. But I’m not, and this is different.

People have already given us SO much (financially). We long for a child more than we long for ‘things’. We would rather have money to put toward adoption expenses. If you ask me if I want a baby shower, I’ll say ‘no’. But if you tell me a date to show up and tell me I don’t have a choice, I’ll be there. It’s hard you guys. So hard. All these decisions about adoption that create such new feelings and tough decisions. Our goal through this entire process is not to make it about us, but entirely about God. Every decision we make, we try to keep that at the forefront of our minds.

God has been so good throughout this process so far and we are so excited to see how He will have it all unfold. This week it was nice to slow down a bit, but we hope week 10 will bring some more ‘excitement’. As always: stay tuned, keep praying, and know that we love you all!